Why it's okay to come home early from your mission

In my MTC district, I was the momma bear of our group. If a missionary was feeling homesick I would give them the biggest pep talk of their life. If I saw a sister missionary crying in the residence halls before bed I would be the first to hand her a tissue and reassure her that she was right where she was supposed to be.

But then two transfers into my mission I came home and suddenly I was the one in need of a pep talk and a box of tissues.  

Although living in Utah has allowed me to be surrounded by a lot of positive peer pressure, the saturation of Mormon culture here has made it especially difficult to live as a non-traditional RM in that I’m constantly reminded of my mission.

I would find myself holding back tears while waiting in the SLC airport as I heard families scream to welcome home their missionary while holding signs that read “Mission Accomplished”. Sitting through a farewell or homecoming address felt like torture and, for a long time, I avoided talking about my mission at all costs. I often wondered what the point of me even serving was because I felt I had lost more than gained by going.

But something I’ve realized is that as humans we tend to see things in a linear perspective-- meaning everything has a beginning and an end. In reality, my mission began the day I gained my testimony or the first time I bore it to a friend. The plan that God has for us is infinite in every sense of the word. The opportunity to be a full-time representative of Christ is no exception to that. If anything, missions create the foundation for us to be missionaries for the rest of our lives.

The real test of being a missionary comes after you have been released. It comes after the highly anticipated airport hug or the big bad homecoming talk. It comes when you no longer have a companion to watch your every move or a zone leader or STL to catch you when you slip up. It comes when that foundation is put to the test.

But the fact remains that any mission served is a mission regardless of the time the missionary spent wearing that black name tag. Heavenly Father teaches us in the scriptures that the morning workers were paid just as much as the afternoon workers; not because of their hours clocked in, but because of the sacrifice both were willing to make to show up to work. Any missionary who begins their mission with the pure intent of making that sacrifice in his or her life has already grasped one of the most important lessons there is to learn: which is to serve others.

We may never understand in this life why things are the way that they are, but if we have our trajectories pointed towards Christ and trust the Lord and His timing and trust that by living the Gospel we will be happy, we will find happiness in simply trying.

The depth of understanding I’ve gained about this gospel as of late has come as a direct result of coming home early.  There are lessons I’ve learned that I would have never been able to learn had I stayed out in the field. Our hopes, desires, and expectations of how our lives will turn out will never fully match up to the blueprint of the plan that Heaven has for us and that’s because His plan for me, and His plan for you are greater than anything either of us could've ever imagined for ourselves.